Great Description

Today I read a great description of my former pastor on a blog I like to visit called "Loving Jesus, Leaving Church". There is a link to this blog on my blog list. The sentence went like this,"A charismatic personality, a silver tongue, a Bible college education, administrative gifts, leadership skills, and the ability to inspire people are about as useless as a tie in a jungle if one is lacking a Christ like character."

As I read this I realized that this described my former pastor so accurately. Only instead of leadership skills he had dictator abilities. I also realized that a tie in a jungle is probably much more useful than he was. Maybe I would compare him to a glass of sand for a man who is dying of thirst.

My earnest prayer is that all of us would surround ourselves with and listen to those who provoke us to be more like Christ and not those who would teach us to be selfish, self centered, money hungry blessing grabbers focusing on ourselves and our lives instead of reaching out to a lost and hurting world.

Whose Place Is It

I have been thinking about many of the teachings that I received at my former church. We were taught,(from the old testament of course), all about "the man of God" and how important he was. We were taught that we NEEDED a "man of God" to submit to, to speak into our lives, to hear from God for us, to correct us, to pray for us, that we were to give to him, serve him, honor him, highly esteem him, call him by the title of "Pastor" just as we would Father or Teacher. We were taught that he was never to be questioned, his actions were never to be questioned, his absolute authority was never to be questioned, he was never to be treated as a common person, that he was accountable to no one, that he was to be catered to, set apart, pampered, and doted on.

Now that I look back, no wonder there was so much teaching from the Old Testament on some of these things. In that dispensation of time the people needed the priests to hear from and talk to God for them because Jesus had not come. Yet in this time, the way some of these new breed of so called pastors demand and desire to be treated, goes way beyond the treatment of the Old Testament priests. The place they want to occupy in our lives entirely oversteps their bounds.

I see that this new breed of pastors wants the place of authority in our lives that the priests of old had and even more. They are not satisfied that you give to the body of Christ, to missions, to the poor, to the needy,or to spread the gospel. It has to be to their church and what they choose to use your money for. They are not satisfied with your money alone either. They want your total commitment, your loyalty, your honor, and your time.

When Jesus came and died for us and rose again, HE became our high priest. When He sent the Holy Spirit to live on the inside of us from the moment we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, He expects us to listen to Him...... not a man. He wants us to follow Him.....not a man.

I have begun to see that these men want the place of God in our lives. Why else would they want us to follow every word that proceeds out of THEIR MOUTHS????? Why are they tickling our ears with promises of wealth and riches, control over all our circumstances, excused sin with no responsibility for it. ( I am not saying that our confessed sins are not forgiven and washed away by the blood of Jesus, but I am saying that sin has consequences) Why are we not seeing people in these churches have a burning desire to serve others, devoting their efforts to reaching the lost, feeding the poor and helping those in need? On the contrary they are taught that the poor and the needy are not "good ground", that they need to give to the prosperous. How far from the teachings from Jesus is this????

Is this different than the devil wanting the place of God in heaven? It seems that God's place in our lives should be for Him and Him alone? I have wondered how I allowed that to be invaded in my life for so long before I saw the truth. It may not be the same thing but it is frightening to me how much authority and influence I allowed a man to have on and in my life.

So, whose place is it to occupy the office of speaking into my life, teaching me, correcting me, guiding me, intercede for me and for me to submit to? IT IS GOD'S PLACE. I have decided never to give it to a man again.

Where Do We Go From Here

I was reading a blog that I have recently found called "What Really Matters" and the last post really hit home with me. The reality of what thousands of people have experienced all over the country from controlling and manipulative pastors who are out to make a name for themselves and live like "the lifestyles of the rich and famous" without any regard for who they destroy on their so called "path to prosperity" is such an atrocity. Multitudes have come away from these churches having to pick up the pieces of their spiritual lives. Others have not only had spiritual abuses to deal with but have had physical abuses as well.

In the wake of the last twenty years of my life I find myself asking a lot of questions. In the end I wonder, where do I go from here? I also wonder if there are others asking themselves the same question.

When I visit a new church, I find myself listening to the pastor preach and I wonder... Can I trust this man? Does he live what he preaches? Does he use people for his own selfish gain and then toss them away? I he a practiced liar? Does he even know what honor is? Does he demand honor and respect that he hasn't earned? Does his family laugh at me ? Is he a monster in disguise? Does he pick out the parts of the Bible he likes and build doctrines around them and ignore the parts that he doesn't want to live by? Does everyone in ministry have ulterior motives?

I wonder about the people I meet. Do they stab everyone in the back? Is there anyone who doesn't sleep with people they are not married to? Are they all liars when it is convenient for them? Do they all think that they are above the laws of the land and that the rules don't apply to them? Is anyone ethical in business?

I guess I have been in a church where the leadership and everyone that follows the teaching closely are so totally consumed with their lives, their desires, their confessions, their blessings, their vision, and what they can get from God that I wonder if everyone is that way.

Do I ever want another pastor? Will I ever call a man "Pastor" again? DEFINITELY NOT!!
Will I ever join another church? Do I NEED a church covering??? NO! What did the church covering I had get me??? What did it get others that went there? The answer to these last two questions is not a pretty one.

Will worship ever be the same for me? I'm getting there. Do I believe that prayer can change things? Some yes, some I am not sure. When will I sift through all the false teaching I have listened to for years? I am not sure. Do I believe that I ever really know someone?? Maybe not.

In the Bible, Paul wrote, " follow me as I follow Christ". Is there a leader like that today? I don't know that I believe there is.

I do know that God is faithful and He loves me so much that He sent His son to die for me. He understands everything about me and He knows that I love Him with all that I am. He is not pushing me to find a church, commit to a ministry, or place myself under a man .... it was a man that put all that pressure on me in the first place and not God. It was a man that demanded that from me. A man who wanted my time, a man who wanted my devotion, a man who wanted my loyalty, a man who wanted my money, a man who wanted my trust, a man who demanded my honor, a man who wanted my service to him and what he wanted to build, a man who wanted to build an empire for himself. I will never again allow myself to be deceived by a man or fall into the trap of serving a man.

I don't know where I go from here, but I do know exactly where I am. I am returning to my first love. I am completely trusting in and leaning on my Heavenly Father and being led by the voice of my Shepherd. I am where He is there to comfort me and guide me. I am where no matter of how much of a failure I feel like He is there to tell me that I am chosen by Him and He chose me knowing full well every choice and mistake I would make in my lifetime. He is there to tell me I am not a failure but a joint heir with His son. I am where no matter how much of a burden it seems I have He is there to tell me that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He is always there telling me that He is proud of me. I am where I know that He will never leave me of forsake me.

No, I can't answer all the questions right now and I don't have to. I know that some will be answered and more will arise. It doesn't really matter where I go from here because wherever that path leads I will go with Him and for now that is enough for me.

The Gospel of ME

Lately I have been reflecting on all that I learned at my former church. Even though all that I learned there is not wrong, I do think that even the majority of the right things centered around "The Gospel of Me" and not the gospel of Christ.

The reason that I say this is that even though some things were correct, they were taught for the wrong reasons. Everything centered around the "Me" way of looking at things. WE needed to be blessed. WE needed nicer things. WE needed authority to make Our lives better. WE needed to look good and that would make others want to know Jesus. But it is not true.

As I read the gospels it is all about OTHERS. We should put OTHERS first. We should care about OTHERS. We should give to OTHERS. We should bless OTHERS. We should help OTHERS. We should esteem OTHERS above ourselves. All the power and authority and faith available to us through Jesus is not so WE can have everything we want....It is for OTHERS !!!!!!! We are to be looking for ways to SERVE OTHERS and not focus on ourselves.

We were taught that sin was no big thing as long as we were on the right path. The path to prospering. The path of tithing. The path of serving the church. Never mind that there was no ministry reaching out to the lost and hurting community. The lost and hurting community was to come to the church, get a vision of how their lives needed to be by looking at ours, tithe and give, get their words right and line up with how the pastor said it was supposed to be. Never mind that there were people being hurt and treated badly by those in the church.

Let me tell you, sin IS a big thing. Just ask those whose lives will never be the same as a result of the sin in the church. The gospel of ME doesn't want to hear or teach this truth.

I have decided to focus on the gospel of Jesus and throw the gospel of ME in the trash. I have decided that it is more important to be pure and holy than to be prosperous and say all the right things. I have decided that it is not all about ME but it is all about OTHERS. I have decided that I would rather be an example of humility than an example of pride, an example of love rather than prosperity. And for those who may not know, love is a verb. Just like faith without works is dead, love without corresponding action is not love.

I want others to want to know Jesus because of the way I ACT and not because they want what material things I have. I would rather have OTHERS in heaven with me later than have material things here on earth. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean living in poverty, Jesus said that as I seek first HIS kingdom then HE would provide for me. He is a good provider.

The gospel of ME wants me to focus on using my faith to provide for myself instead of just resting in the provision of God. I think that is exactly what the devil wants too. If he can get me focused on getting all I can from God for myself then I am no threat to him at all.

Let's come out of the fog of the gospel of ME and live in the light of the gospel of Christ.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

I remember a song that we used to sing in church when I was a young girl. I attended a Baptist church. The song said," Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

I remember there were all kinds of people in my church from the very wealthy to the not so wealthy. In the church that I last left the scope of people was the same. One church was denominational and one church was Word of Faith. Even though the scope of income in these two churches was the same, the amount of materialism in them was very different.

In the Baptist church no one's faith was ever judged by others. No one was looked down upon if they did not have enough money. People of the church and the leadership were always anxious to help anyone in need. No one's "faith" was judged by how much they had, what things happened to them, how their children acted and things like that. As a matter of fact, their "faith" was not JUDGED. Neither were the people. We were all a part of the family of God and that is all that mattered. We were taught to seek and follow Jesus not jobs, money, houses, clothes or any other material things. We were taught about treating others right.

In the Word of Faith church there was so much materialism, criticism, legalism, judgementalism,
and self. There were things that I learned in the Word of Faith church that have made a great difference in my life such as who I am in Christ, my authority over the devil, and the fact that EVERY thing that happens in not always God's will. However all these things are useless if it is all centered around me, what I can have, what I can get, what I can control and that I can do anything I want and treat others any way that I want. All of this is not the Gospel. There was no focus on helping and reaching out to people and when there was, for a little while, from time to time, it was all about raising the numbers and then after a bit it just faded away.

I know that no one has all the answers. I certainly don't. I do know that God sent Jesus to die for PEOPLE. I know that everyone who is born again has been given the measure of faith. I know that we are all JOINT heirs with Jesus. I know that through the BLOOD we are all righteous. I know that we all overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. I know that there is not an elitist group in the body of Christ. I know that we can take God at His Word because He watches over His Word to perform it. I know that the fruit that we were saved to produce was souls brought into the kingdom of God and not material things.

I have decided to turn my eyes upon Jesus and get to know Him and not spend my time and effort on getting things for me. I would rather have the brightness of Him in my life than the dimness of what I can acquire of the material things that the world has to offer.

Great Post

I was reading A Former Leader's blog today, (a link to this blog is on my blog list) and the post titled "Upsidedown Kingdom" really spoke volumes to me. I thought that this post was awesome. It really brings out what the ministry of Jesus was like. I know that in reading the New Testament, that the ministry of the church that I had been involved in was far from the ministry examples I see here in the Bible. Thank you Former Leader for a great post.

Saul, Saul, Why Do You Persecute Me?

In the book of Acts a man named Saul was going down a road to Damascus. He was a man that loved God. He was a religious man. He was going to hunt down and kill those who called Jesus their savior. He was going to kill those who were preaching the good news about Jesus. He thought that he was doing something good. He thought he was serving God. Jesus, Himself, knocked this man off of his horse and asked him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?' The man repented, asked Jesus to be his savior, and went on to write the majority of the New Testament.

Jesus told Saul that he was persecuting HIM... Jesus, because he was persecuting those who believed in Him.

Today we have preachers who are supposed to be full of the Holy Spirit, standing up in pulpits, slandering and insulting people who are in the body of Christ, people who are their brothers and sisters in the Lord. Calling them clowns, punks, pea brained christians, flesh churches, idiots, and other things like that. How is this any different from Saul???? These men are persecuting Jesus by slandering members of the body of Christ and using their pulpits as a platform to do it.


Maybe it is time for these men to be knocked off of their horses. Maybe if they are, they will wake up and see that they are doing the work of the enemy and not the work of the Lord.